November 12, 2014

Going Home

Posted in: Family

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Andrew, Toby and I are all going home soon, in 5 weeks to be exact. Home is wherever the three of us are. Andrew hasn’t felt like he has been home this year and either have we.

It’s been a funny year, exciting, a bit scary and it’s been filled with uncertainty. Andrew has just finished his first year of uni, one down, nine years to go. I wrote about Andrew going back to uni here. He went in with a more positive approach than I but the tables have since turned. Andrew has found this year the most challenging yet, as he says, ‘The worst year of my life!’ I have talked some perspective into him and said that he should be very grateful that the worst year of his life includes the impending arrival of his first child and being in a position to pursue his dream.

Andrew has found it difficult being away from us and has been on a roller coaster of emotions wondering if what he is doing makes sense and is something that he should continue. He was hoping that this first year of uni would indicate which path to take. He was hoping this year would enlighten him and realise, this dream is too big and will take too long to accomplish, quit and go back to his old life or realise that being a Maxilofacial Surgeon is exactly what he wants to do and the sacrifices along the way are worth it. But this hasn’t happened.

Now that we have a little one on the way, Andrew doesn’t know if he wants to put us all under financial stress. He worries about not having enough time to spend with his family as a uni student and he worries that we won’t have the ideal life as a family, for a long time, because of the lack of money. None of these things bother me because as a uni student, Andrew has way more time on his hands than he ever did as a dentist. And the money thing, yeah, we have had to say, ‘No’ a lot of times this year but whatever, as long as we are all together, that’s all that matters. This isn’t a forever situation, it will end and I find the journey to anything in life is always much more exciting than the destination. I think we are way too young to be at our final destination for the rest of our lives, so lets keep on going.

Next year will be the real test, me no longer working, Andrew at uni, a baby. We will see how it goes and will take one year at a time and reassess at the end of each year if it is worth continuing or if we should pull the plug.

It is scary pursuing dreams as an adult because you are so much more aware of what there is to lose. But you only have one shot at this thing called life and it’s better to try and make the most of it than to sit and wonder what kind of life was possible if only you were brave enough to give it a go.