It’s almost four weeks since our second beautiful boy was born. Time flies when you’re not pregnant.
Now that our son is here I can say, I was hoping it would be him. I wanted a boy just a tiny bit more than a girl. Reason being, I wanted to give Thomas a best friend he can grow up with, to go through life with and hopefully develop a friendship and bond that will last through to adulthood.
What I love about my life is that I live with my best friend. Home is always a place I want to be because Andrew is there, because of him, home is best. Yes, socialising with others and being out is fun but at the end of the day, home is best because of the people that live there. I want Thomas and his brother to have those feelings towards each other and our home too.
Those who have been reading this Blog for a while know about my fear of pregnancy and a natural birth. Due to these fears Thomas’ birth was a planned cesarean and so was this birth.
The arrival of our second son was beautiful, calm and exactly what I hoped for.
Like with Thomas’ birth, the night before the c-section Andrew and I went out for dinner and we talked about Thomas and this new baby, how I was so happy this pregnancy was almost over and how I’m never doing it again. We both weren’t nervous at all and we laughed over how we were acting before Thomas was born, like two lost deers in headlights. I also confessed how I was worried I wouldn’t be able to love this baby as much as Thomas. How is it even humanly possible to have the same love for someone that you love with all the corners of your heart and soul?
After dinner Andrew packed his hospital bag and we went to bed, setting our alarm clocks for 5am.
We drove to the hospital while it was still pitch dark and checked into the maternity ward at 6am. The nurse showed us our room and told us to get changed into our operating theatre outfits. Before we could even ask each other how we were feeling I was getting wheeled into theatre.
The nursers and doctors asked me questions as they wheeled me down all the corridors, ‘So, this is your second c-section, any questions?’ ‘Any issues with your last c-section?’, ‘Do you know what you’re having?’ ‘No, no and no,’ I replied.
The bed stopped outside the theatre and I was told to walk in. I’m not the best with medical things, blood or hospitals in general and I remember thinking, don’t look at the instruments, don’t look at the operating table, don’t look at the bright lights, just look at the people.
I sat on the operating table and the anaesthetist said, ‘Let’s get this show on the road.’ As quick as a flash my IV line was in and the spinal block was inserted. Like with Thomas’ birth, the spinal block felt warm going in and then I felt the familiar sensation of cold water entering my veins as I lay down.
The anaesthetist put a cold ice block on my neck and said, ‘This is what the ice block feels like, cold.’ He then moved the ice block to my stomach and said, ‘Can you feel the cold?’ and I said, ‘Yes.’ He moved the ice block to my legs and said, ‘Can you feel the cold? Again I replied, ‘Yes.’
‘You know you’ll be able to feel that there is something there, but you shouldn’t feel the coldness of the ice,’ the anaesthetist said. ‘I know but I promise I can feel the cold.’ I stated. I started to get a bit worried that they would start the c-section without believing that I could feel the ice block on the lower part of my body.
‘I can actually feel the coldness of the ice on my body, please don’t start! I’m not numb.’ I said trying to sound relaxed but was clearly freaking out. ‘Can you move your legs up?’ the anaesthetist asked. And I did. ‘Oh!’ he replied. ‘Let me try one more thing before we have to get you up and insert the spinal again.’
As soon as he said that the machine I was hooked up to started beeping. The anaesthetist said, ‘Oh good, your blood pressure has dropped significantly, I’m going to put the ice cube on your legs, can you feel the coldness?’ Relieved I said, ’No.’
And with that, the theatre became busy.
I had my iPhone with me just incase I needed to be distracted from what was going on. The plan was to not listen to music this time, like I did with Thomas’ birth, but as soon as everyone got to work and the sound of people picking up and dropping instruments, the machines beeping, I chickened out and asked Andrew to put my earphones in and press play.
Andrew stroked my hair, I closed my eyes and imagined I was sun baking on the beach, listening to music and getting a massage on my stomach. This helped me relax. At the time, it felt like ages from when my OB started to when the baby was out but now that I think about it I didn’t even get to finish listening to one song.
I felt the moment my son was out of me. The sheer relief on my body was felt instantly, I felt so light and I remember thinking, I feel like I’ve been reborn! With that thought I heard my OB say, ‘Here’s your baby, have a look.’ But I was too scared to. I was worried the gruesomeness of it all would make me faint and I said, ‘No, that’s fine, I’ll wait.’ It’s then that I heard Andrew say, ‘Hey buddy!’ And I cried happy tears. A boy!
Andrew went and cut the cord and helped clean him up while I lay there and just smiled listening to our son’s cries. When Andrew brought him over to me I was surprised how different he looked to Thomas, when he was born. As we were both analysing and staring at him Andrew said, ‘I love him straight away. With Thomas I wasn’t sure if I loved him from the beginning. But with Felix, I know I love him.’
And just like that it was all over. My last baby.
My week stay in hospital and my recovery so far has been a breeze. The birth of my two children have been the most beautiful, pleasant and best days of my life. Nothing will ever compare, it’s such a shame those monumental days are over so quickly.
Life now feels complete, it really feels like it’s just beginning. My whole family is together, no one is missing anymore and I cannot wait to create a lifetime of memories with my boys.
I am a mother of boys, in a house full of boys and my heart could explode from happiness.
Welcome to the world, Felix Wilde, when you came the universe showed me it’s actually possible to love more than one person with every corner of their heart and soul.
^ Meeting Felix for the first time.
^ A few hours old and still a bit smushed up.
^ No rest for this medical student, back to studying after a busy morning.
^ Super Aunty who looked after Thomas while I was in hospital.